Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
