Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
