My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am one with the molecules
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
