Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
