You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
