i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize