I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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