whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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