Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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