I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Of course I have a pirate flag
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
