my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
