Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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