super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
