I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
