I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
