the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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