you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
