And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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