considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So squirting runs in the family.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
