his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize