Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
