THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
