am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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