You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
