btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
