She said her name was "party"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
