wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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