Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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