Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
