Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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