it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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