I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
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he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
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To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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