I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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