i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
