her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
