HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize