Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
