I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
