In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
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