p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
