WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
