cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize