with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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