I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
