so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
