Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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