the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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