i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
