Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize