Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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