operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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