Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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