Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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