Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize