the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
And the cops told us we were all naked.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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