Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
